I can't with him 😍😍💕💕❤️❤️😍😍🥰🥰

When I say I love Gabe I don't think I can stress that enough. He told me he was doing his best to patch things up with his boss, swallowing his pride until he finds another job. He apologized again for his outbursts and getting into trouble but I understand why he did it; he's sick multiple times every year and hasn't had a decent night's sleep since our honeymoon. We've talked about it endlessly and are agreed this can't continue. I understand also how difficult it is for him to act like this; if he were still single he probably would have just quit but now that Trevor and I are a factor he knows he can't. He isn't usually hot headed, that's me, but he has it in him for sure. He then surprised me last night with tickets to Japan and to a Dir En Grey show while we're there. My friend Brian, and his wife, Ashlynn were over for dinner and Brian goes " Damn, man. You're making the other husbands look bad over here." Gabe shook his head and said " Nah, she deserves this. She's put up with a lot of shit from me." " You put up with just as much from me, mi amor. Let's not pretend like I don't come with some baggage." " I told you you deserve the world, baby. I want to go see some of it with you." My heart almost can't take it when he does things like that. It was at that point that we remembered we had company and left it at that. Brian texted me the next morning saying " Ashlynn and I don't look at or talk to each other like that. What do you guys do differently?" Truthfully we don't do anything differently; we just try to do everything we can for each other. I can't wait to see Japan through his eyes. He brought me some lyrics he's been working on to see what I think. I struggle to remain objective given how I love him but honestly they're GOOD; evocative, descriptive, and atmospheric. He played a bit of melody he had made up for a song and it went with the lyrics so well. I'm glad he hasn't sold Trevor's guitars just yet. He said he started thinking after Trevor's death that he shouldn't wait to at least try to pursue what he's always wanted to do; even though he knows most likely it won't go anywhere. I understand that; it's why I continue to write though most likely no one is really going to read it. It's something done more for myself than anything. He needs an outdonlet to express himself just like everyone else and I encourage him to keep going, as he's always encouraged me. I don't want him to have to swallow his pride to keep a job he hates and wish it weren't partially because of me that he's doing so. He and I share a rather large proud and stubborn streak so I truly understand that this isn't easy for him because it wouldn't be for me. He thinks he can't sing but I love his voice and just stood there listening and grinning; I love seeing this creative side of him start to make itself known. I guess that's it for now.