This has been a challenging but wonderful week. My friend Diane brought us gingerbread cookies and a blanket for Trevor. I nearly started crying it was so sweet. I admit it's been difficult doing everything for myself, my beloved, and our son but I kind of love the challenge of making sure everyone is okay. I made a broccoli cheese soup recipe I got from a website I go to for new recipes when I get bored of what we eat and want something different. I'm glad to say it was delicious but a bit more work than I was really hoping to do. The weather here has been crazy; getting cold and then crazy hot for this time of year. Naturally this means a lot of burst pipes and my beloved being absolutely exhausted. He's resumed faceplanting into bed every night and seems a bit down that he hasn't had the time for us that he wishes he did. He's genuinely wonderful helping me change diapers, take out the garbage, bathe Trevor, and carry in the groceries while I carry in Trevor. He can only do so much and work 80+ hours a week. I don't want him working like this and not sleeping. Marc came over yesterday and he was blasting Linkin Park from his car and he was listening to "From the Inside" . I started singing along and the chorus hit me like a brick ;" I will take everything from the inside and throw it all away cause I swear for the last time I will trust myself with you" . This applies to both my beloved and our son; I won't inflict the pain and trauma I've endured on Trevor, he's going to only know love from me and I trust Gabe to be there for me and love me, I won't carry any of the pain and baggage from other men into our relationship. It was difficult to trust Gabe at first but he's been consistent with his love and devotion for years and never for a millisecond have I regretted trusting and loving him. It very much highlights what I want to focus on in life from now on. I guess that's it for now.
Comments
Post a Comment