The year has been spreading by and it's always the end of the year that seems to sprint past. Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away and I haven't even gotten a shopping list together for what Gabe and I are going to make. Most importantly, Trevor is going to be born a bit after, then Gabe's 41st birthday, and Christmas. I'm genuinely so excited but it's so much at once I question whether I can handle it. I can't wait to meet our son; I didn't really think being a mother was in the cards for me. According to the doctor I'm in great shape though late pregnancy isn't fun physically. I wanted a slow morning for once and simply drank coffee and made biscuits. Gabe deserves a break much more, but it's been such a crazy busy week for him I anticipate he's just going to faceplant into bed and that's it. I feel bad that I can't offer more help but there's no way I could do what he does, even if I weren't pregnant. He's still looking for a new job and I truly hope he finds it. I talked to Mom for a bit, and immediately regreted it; she had to make some remark about how she doesn't like that I dye my hair. WTF does that have to do with anything?!?!?! We were talking about me being unable to help her the next few months at least because so many things are going on and she hits me with that. How has she not learned that I can't just always be there for her and do things for her?!?!?! I have 4 siblings she could ask and it's unfair to make it my exclusive domain. She's also had 5 newborns and knows how difficult it is caring for one. I want to raise him well and need time and the ability to give him ( and his father) my undivided attention. I actually have a family of my own and need to nurture and care for them. She should also be happy to have another grandchild; even if she doesn't like his father and is ambivalent to his mother. I guess that's it for now.
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