A bit of catch up

I know it's been a while and wanted to write a slightly longer entry for today and figured I should include some pictures from the past couple of weeks. I still deeply worry about Gabe; he explained that he watched his friend die and it's difficult to get those images out of his mind. I can't even imagine how much that would mess with someone's psychy and hate that I don't know how to help him more properly. It absolutely infuriates me that the company he works for refuses to admit any responsibility and that Mike might still be here if they had been given time to rest and not rushed along to finish a project that was too big and incolved for the amount of men they had working and the time they were given. We went to a haunted house/ maze for a date and a way to actually enjoy his first Friday night off in weeks. He seemed happier and more at ease with me and that was the most like himself he's been in a while. We had a pretty serious discussion about him finding another job because I genuinely worry this is going to kill him and refuse to stand by and let that happen. He always comes back to the argument that he won't make as much money at any other job and he's worked too hard to earn the foreman job he has. He's right about that, but it kills me to see him depressed and exhausted like this and I worry it's just going to get worse. I remember when we met he was always the one cheering me up and pulling me out of the darkness. I need to be able to do the same for him. I adore him and am so scared something might happen to him if he keeps this up; I can't imagine losing him and don't want to even think about it. I don't exaggerate when I say he saved me and I want to do that for him now. He claims he just needs me to stay with him and he's going to be okay but I don't know. I genuinely always thought he was the stronger of the two of us but I know he's been through a lot himself and shouldn't have to help carry my burdens too. He claims my love, strength, and patience have carried him through so much and I'm more than happy to keep doing that but I hate watching him be this shell of who he was when we met. I worry sometimes that this is my fault and I pushed him into the whole marriage and family bit and the responsibility is too heavy though he started talking about marriage and living together way before I did and made it clear that's what he wanted. I just want him to be happy; honestly as long as he's happy I am too. I guess that's it for now.