Tired and frustrated

Today's been a long and busy day for myself and my beloved. He sent me before and after shots of one of the streets he and his guys repaired, but that's just the first part of the repairs the streets need. I had to talk to some new clients in Japanese and I was so nervous. This is the first time I've done that; they seemed a bit shocked that I was to be dealing with them, wondering why a lady with a German last name was going to be speaking Japanese to them. One of them asked his companion why a German woman was supposed to interpret for them and I responded that I took my mom's last name, as she raised me, and it's technically an Austrian last name. After that they seemed good with talking to me but it was nerve-wracking. I hate that I don't get taken seriously until I prove what I can do, though I know that's just how it is. Japanese has been so difficult to learn and I'm pretty proud of myself for finally being proficient enough to translate in mettings. It was never as nerve-wracking with German or Spanish as I grew up speaking them; this is an entirely new thing. I was already feeling a bit low on confidence since Mom invited herself over to our place this morning and couldn't help taking little jabs at me;criticizing how I cook, the way our house is decorated and organized, and asking what I really do at home or at work. She essentially said I don't really do anything and skate by on good looks at home with a job where I just push buttons. The fact that I speak 4 different languages apparently means nothing to her or the fact that I baked more bread this morning, some of which she ate. 🙄🙄Of course I don't do anything. 🙄🙄🙄 I also ordered and picked up a cookie cake for my nephew's birthday party. I didn't quite have time to bake a cake this year and still wanted to do something nice for him. As for skating by on good looks; yes, Gabe is wildly attracted to me physically but he cares about more than what I look like, and that's not why he spoils me. I don't know how much longer I can repeat this before I give up trying and I feel like it's deeply unfair of her to say that. It's not like either of us expected to feel like this about each other and I can't help how I look. I swear she never puts my siblings down like this or questions everything they do. Of course I made my beloved lunch but he ate it before I had the chance to include a picture here. It started out dark and cloudy this morning but the sun came out and that actually cheered me up a little. I do more than push buttons at work and explained that I translate documents and in mettings, take notes, make appointments with clients and for my boss, I run errands for her, and have given a few presentations on my own. I honestly think no matter what I do it's never going to meet her standards and I need to simply learn to accept that. I guess that's it for now.