So many emotions 😱😭😊

I'd like to talk about something I had really hoped never to bring up and never uave to deal with again. I got a text while making dinner yesterday and it immediately put me on edge because of things that happened in the past. I picked up my phone and the text asked if I was home alone, and it was from a number I didn't recognize. This immediately got me spooked and I ignored the message and blocked the number; as someone who's been stalked this made me so uncomfortable. I texted my beloved to tell him what had happened and he volunteered to come home, he could tell I wasn't feeling safe. No one else has tried to message me but it got me thinking of Trevor, this guy I ran into about 13 years ago at the public library. He overheard me listening to Slipknot and said something; I made the mistake of answering him. He then proceded to follow me around for at least 30 minutes trying to talk to me and asking for my number and email address. I lied and said I didn't have a phone or email address; something about him just sent alarm bells ringing in my head. He proceeded to follow me out the door, putting his books down so he wouldn't lose sight of me and proceeded to follow me up the hill toward my apartment. Mind you I had just met him and he was doing this. I went the wrong way to mislead him so he didn't know where I lived....for a while. After a month he would occasionally be outside or "conveniently" near my apartment. He would be waiting at bus stops I used as I didn't have a car at the time. The image above is from my favorite episode of " Hell Girl", one of my favorite anime. It's about a detective stalking this teenage girl named Ryoko, and the fear and suffering she felt was so relatable when I saw the episode. He openly admitted he had a love of goth girls and I have no doubt I was just part of a fetish he has. He kept begging me to come over to his house or let him come to mine; obviously I vigorously refused. All I did was answer a question about music; one moment of misplaced politeness led to this suffering. I began to fear he would be everywhere I was and expected to him to show up at my work. I never went back to the library, got myself a car, and began to stay home more, with the door locked and curtains drawn. My beloved sent me these pictures of the snow and his friends messing around for a bit after work. Those things make me happy; maybe at least he's having a bit of fun amidst all the toil. I know he still comes home exhausted but I want him to be able to enjoy a moment or two while busting his ass. With the sudden snowfall it's not been easy and he doesn't deny it at all; I've lost track of all the broken water mains and pipes they've fixed at this point. I guess that's enough for now.