Blessed Yule

Good morning and a Blessed Yule to everyone else celebrating today. I really wish I had more time with Gabe this morning but he was up at 3:30;getting ready for work and we didn't have much time to celebrate so I told him I'd wait until he gets home. At least I got to make him breakfast and coffee but I still hate that this is all I can do for him. He's obviously tired but won't complain; not that I can't tell. He slept a grand total of 6 hours last night, more than his average, but it's still so unfair that he gets treated this way. He already knows his boss isn't going to be there; he' s taking his family out for pizza today. I can't remember the last time we got to do anything like that. At least I can have something good waiting for him when he gets home and spend some time with him. We found a couple of horror movies that look promising and were going to check them out. I finally also got around to making some Christmas cookies, luckily that's one more thing I don't have to do. There would be no peace in this house Christmas morning from my nephew if he doesn't get Christmas cookies.

I kind of hope it starts raining and he has to go home early so we can celebrate, snuggle by the fire, and watch horror movies. That's selfish of me, I know. It's strange in a way to crave someone's presence so much and miss him like a part of myself is missing. I never expected to feel this way again and it's strange. This has been an incredible year in so many ways and part of me is sad to see it go so soon but on the other hand a new year and new possibilities are exciting to think about. Especially the idea of getting married. I think the gravity of that is still setting in. On the other hand though I don't know how much different it's really goong to be; we already live together and essentially treat each other as husband and wife but it's going to be official with rings and a little ceremony. I do think it would be cute to have my nephew be the ring bearer, but I don't know if my brother and sister in law would agree to it. I want to ask them about it at least. I should probably get lunch figured out and do some cleaning or gift wrapping; but thinking about our future together is a wonderful little distraction amidst our usual chaos. I had another instance of immense graditude for him on Wednesday; I was in a meeting with my boss and an intern I'm training. I was just starting to give a presentation and my boss starts talking over me, acting like I had no idea what the hell I was saying or doing. I read the material a hundred times and knew what I was doing; it felt extremely disrespectful and rude rhat she treated me that way. Poor Gabe got an earful about it, I was so pissed off. His usual sweet, loving, calm and steady nature is a blessing to my hot headed, emotional,and chaotic self. I immediately felt bad about dumping on him as he doesn't need more on his shoulders but he just hugged me, told me I did nothing wrong, and that she's the one with the problem, not me. He said it's a flaw in her character and nothing wrong with me; I did exactly what I was supposed to. This man is love, no question. I really should go; that's enough for now.