I went on a walk this morning after I fed the cats and myself. Unfortunately I had to go alone, as Gabe has been working yet more crazy overtime. I genuinely worry what this is doing to him; he clearly hates every minute he's at work. Of course as he ate his breakfast ( I woke up early to cook for him and talk to him) he was telling me nothing's really gone right with the project they've been working on and he's going to be blamed for it as the foreman if it's not finished on time. I don't want him to get in trouble for something that really isn't his fault; he tries so hard every day. He said something that really touched me as he was leaving; he grabbed me and said " You always know how to make a shitty weekend better. God I'm a lucky man; I love you so much. Knowing I have you makes it all worth it." This man is love; I simply held him and poured as much of my love and support into him as I could with an embrace. Then with a kiss on the lips and forehead, he was gone. I have to say without him this place is too quiet and something is missing; he's the sun in my sky and the calm to my chaos. I took a walk thinking it might help me clear my head of the worries about him; working 16 or 17 hours a day is crazy and he's either going to get hurt or sick or both. He's trying to claim he's alright but he hasn't slept more than 5 or 6 hours a night in months. He's gotten hurt and sick before at work and I did my best to take care of him every time. He knows it upsets me; especially when he got hurt. I remember just cuddling him when he got sick the first time; I didn't catch it luckily but also didn't want to just leave him alone. I was scared when his fever kept climbing and I couldn't get him to eat; luckily that didn't last long. The only reason he hasn't had another 30 hour shift is because he asked his boss for slightly shorter shifts so he could come home to me. I feel terrible that he was put throuh that at all. He made the case to his boss that when he was single it didn't really matter to him if he was gone that long; he didn't have anyone to come home to and now he does. I don't think he realizes he's changed my life too; always for the better. I told him something like I want him to find a home in me and I meant that; so long as we're together we have a home in each other. I should probably get some laundry done and do some vacuuming; I think that's enough for now.
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