This Man ♥️💕♥️💕♥️💕

 I have to brag just a little bit about Gabe again; I'm sorry but I've truly never felt this way and never been loved this way. We've both been dealing with a lot lately and he's been doing his best to keep me happy and keep my spirits up, like I've been trying to do for him. He beat me home yesterday and surprised me with a few gifts and the biggest, warmest, most loving hug of my life. He got a Halloween cake decorating kit, some makeup I had been dying to get, a pair of cute fuzzy socks ( pictured above), some new necklaces and bracelets, as well as some of my favorite coffee & chocolate and a pumpkin. What can I say? The man knows his girlfriend. I nearly started crying I was so happy; I wasn't expecting any of this and the way he looked at me and just scooped me into his arms. 😍😍😍We then decorated the cake and are going to carve the pumpkin and place it on our porch. I so often feel I don't deserve him; he spoils me in a way I'm just not used to. He (of course) had to say something like " Thank you for being you; thank you for loving me. " I did cry then, not going to lie. He doesn't know how easy it is to love him; he gives so much and asks virtually nothing for himself. He never fully accepts this praise I heap on him; I don't think he's used to it. I mean every word of it though; he makes me happy every day. He without a doubt is the love of my life. I know my mom is still pushing for us to get married and have children; it's definitely still in the cards. Yesterday was particularly rough too; my aunt had called and said she had to have surgery to have a cancerous tumor removed. She said the doctors are confident they removed everything bad but they had to remove part of her pancreas as well as her duodenum and gallbladder to make certain. He knows how afraid I am and how much it hurts to lose someone so that's why he did what he did and I love him for it all the more. She's my favorite aunt and my mom's only sister; no one wants to lose her. He knows we can't really afford to go to Austria to see her; we could barely afford to go to San Juan which is much closer. I was telling him all about her and how she's always taken care of basically everyone around her; her parents, her children, her husband, her in laws, her grandchildren, and some cats. He looked at me and said " That sounds like you; you're always doing things for your mom and looking out for  your siblings and nephew. You definitely take care of me, and our cats. I'm going to take care of you." I cried again at that statement; it rang pretty true and he makes me melt when he talks like that. I don't know what I did to deserve him but I'm eternally grateful he's mine. I have a pretty good feeling a proposal could be incoming; I really hope so. I've never had a man who genuinely felt my happiness was as important or even more important than his own and I almost don't know how to act.  Part of me is still dealing with a lot of self esteem issues and questions whether I even deserve to be happy and loved like this and has to point out how much I actually have to lose now. I absolutely hate that my mind still does this to me sometimes. It's 1,000 times easier to fight through those thoughts now though as he's shown me time and again how much he loves me and that he's not going to leave me; meaning I must be worth it. I wish sometimes he could see himself through my eyes and see how absolutely wonderful he is. I guess that's enough for now.