This Poor Man 😭😭

 It's been an incredibly difficult week for Gabe and I don't know what else to say. We spent a few days in San Juan to say goodbye to his grandma and she was a surprisingly soft spoken, kind woman. I had expected the head of his family to be a bit more intimidating but we got along quite well. On the morning of the 3rd day there she started feeling really sick quite suddenly; that evening she was gone. The next morning his mom called him which on its own would be something of a big deal since they rarely talk; but she told him his brother died. He had been hit by a drunk driver and didn't make it. I will never forget the look on his face; I've never seen such pain there. I could tell right away something was wrong but didn't know what until he hung up with his mom. I admit I started crying when he told me; it's my natural response to death. I don't handle it well and never will. I've been quite glued to him since it happened and I hope I'm doing the right thing to help him. I love him so much and genuinely felt his pain. Today was his first day back at work and he's been acting more or less like himself; hitting me with a few random " I love you" messages and thanking me for being there for him. I know this hurts, it has to. He definitely wallowed in some pain for a few days and I think he needs more time. His boss not so subtlety reminded him he needs to come back to work if the projects he and his guys are working on really are going to be finished. I asked him yesterday if he was okay and he claims he is, I can't wait for him to come home. He was there for me when I needed him and I would do the same for him even if we were just friends still. He also made a not so subtle marriage hint at dinner yesterday so I think he is genuinely considering marrying me; all I can say is "Yes" . There have been so many wonderful moments with him in a couple short years; I want the rest of our lives together. He isn't always the most verbally dexterous man but there are times when he pours his heart out and clarifies exactly what he's feeling and thinking and it's wonderful. He never fails to make certain I know how much he loves me and what I mean to him. I guess that's enough for now.