I miss him 😭😭

 We were hit by a fairly bad storm last night and Gabe got a call that they needed him to help fix something at the ungodly hour of 3:00 am. One of the worst things about his job is that things like this aren't exactly uncommon. He accepts this as part of what he signed up for and really so do I; however that doesn't mean either of us have to like it. He apologized for waking me up, though really that was the fault of the thunder above us. He kissed me and told me to go back to sleep but I didn't want to; it seems like it's going to be a very long day for him and I wanted to see him as much as I could before he had to leave. We leave for San Juan next Monday to see his grandma; that's as soon as he could get away. Part of me is excited to go even though the circumstances are terrible; I miss him so much and hate that we don't have as much time together as we used to. I want some time with him one on one like when we were camping. I don't want to go full on clingy girlfriend but I have trouble resisting the impulse. He said much the same thing, wishing he hadn't accepted more responsibilities at work so he could have more free time. Unfortunately it has to be one or the other; it's kind of impossible to have both. He didn't mind as much when we were just friends or had just started dating but once we got more serious about each other it started to really bother him that we couldn't be together more. I know his boss was more than happy to shirk some of his responsibilities but it's still not fair that Gabe should have to pick up all the slack. The man is tired, he knows I know and I worry about him too. I think the other guys would rather call him if they need help or supervision than their boss. It's weird how much of my life has come to revolve around him given the relatively short time we've known each other and been together. He's amazingly well dialed in to my emotional state though; I was telling him some shenanigans my boss had pulled and through text he could tell I was stressed; he tried to help me relax and tired to cheer me up. That's reason #1,000 why I love him; no other man I've been with ever cared that much about my thoughts and feelings. God, I chose some sub-standard men. Speaking of which; I know I mentioned Shoji had been popping up on social media trying to contact me, he's still at it and won't leave me alone. I'm not sure what to do; I told him to leave me alone and keep blocking him but he won't stop. This has been going on for weeks and weeks and I hate it. Unless he actually tries to come to our house or comes to my office though I don't think I can do anything else. I told Gabe; Shoji knows we're together and I'm actually happy now, and still won't stop. This was probably the angriest I've ever seen him; I don't know that he wouldn't beat Shoji up if it came to it. I wouldn't want him to but believe he might still. I honestly think Gabe hates him more than I do; when we first met it was difficult to talk about Shoji without crying. He knows what this man did to me and hates him for it. Part of the reason I think our bond is as strong as it is was because we helped each other through quite a lot in a fairly small amount of time and had similar perspectives and outlooks on almost everything. One of my favorite things about us is how quickly and easily we understood each other; no walls or defenses, just honesty and closeness. Something else we both noted was the ease with which we could talk to each other and never feeling self conscious about anything. I can't tell you what that means to me; to be able to trust him and tell him everything. I guess that's enough for now.