A stormy few days... Literally

These last few days have been very difficult for Gabe and I marvel always at his inner strength and resilience; we went to his brother's funeral yesterday and I've never felt him hold my hand tighter. I wish I could say I were really his rock like he claims I am but I was barely holding it together myself. He claims my presence there was immensely helpful but I don't know; all I could do was hold him tightly. It feels like Trevor should still be here; I barely got to know the man I was hoping was going to be my brother in law one day. He was only 35; he still had so much living to do. Gabe still doesn't really talk about him and I don't want to push him because I know it's painful; I just don't want him holding too much in. He'll talk about him when he's ready, I suppose. He seems to truly just want to focus on us and our life together right now. He's always been a very insular, " I can handle this on my own" kind of person, as have I, but generally there are no walls between us and little happens without the other knowing. I don't want him shutting down or shutting me out and have tried to maintain a sense of normalcy in our lives as he seems to want so much to move on. I just worry he won't really deal with it. There were a few huge, honestly pretty scary storms in quick succession on Wednesday; a massive dust storm followed immediately by a massive thunderstorm. Our power was out for a few hours and it was incredible how quickly it came back considering how bad the storms were. The wind was extremely loud and the sky got almost pitch black, almost apocalyptic. Gabe was at work when the storm began and he almost immediately texted me to let me know he was going to hunker down at work because he didn't think he'd make it in time if he tried to drive home. It was way too dangerous to drive;  believe me, he was right. Traffic is usually bad on his route home and the visibility and wind were terrible after a few minutes. This has been a very very weird and terrible month; part of me just wants it to be over so hopefully we can move on to something better. We got our first pumpkin of the season and the urge to decorate for Halloween gets stronger with every day. The picture at the top is the view coming towards our house on Wednesday.