20 Year High school Reunion 😭

 I had a bit of trepidation about turning 38 this year but with a few notable exceptions I don't feel terribly different as a person. I'm still shy, weird, quiet, and nerdy. I certainly look different but am so much happier now than I was when I was a teenager. I was most definitely not a happy teenager in many ways; I got bullied, I had no idea where my dad was most of the time growing up so it fell to my mom to take care of all of us, and my sister and I didn't get along at all. My sister and I still aren't the closest- getting along with our brothers always seemed easier. We at least have a relationship now and can have fun together; even if we don't have a lot in common. The things that gave me peace (metal music and anime mostly) were the thinks that made me a freak to her; she told me that to my face one day. The thing is most of the other kids growing up felt the same way. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found the small group of people I did who love the same things. Part of me wonders really why I'm going to this reunion; I don't have much to do with most of the people I went to school with and wouldn't speak to most of them on the street. I will give credit to the one girl who actually apologized for how she treated me; she and I are good now. Part of me knows this is just an excuse for most of us to get together and brag on how well we're doing; I want to see their reactions when I don't walk in alone. Some mean petty little part of me wants to see the looks on the faces of every girl who ever gave me shit when I walk in still looking 25 with a handsome man who adores me. I know that's vile, mean, and petty, but you don't know the hell those girls put me through. Gabe legitimately thought I was 13 years younger than him when we met and was surprised when I told him I was only about 4 months younger than him. I shouldn't be mean like that but I almost never fought back and I guess I want to show them I did okay despite them. I also have to bring something up I hadn't thought would be a problem; Shoji decided to try getting in contact with me again and creating new social media accounts to send me messages. Thank God I have it set up that anyone who wants to write to me needs permission. He was the one who said he didn't want to see me again!!! What the hell is he doing then? I blocked him of course; I genuinely never want to speak to him again. I know I'm not the only one with an ex who acts crazy but he would be my first. I guess that's enough for now.